


Fallen.

by johnwhatson



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-21 03:02:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/895020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnwhatson/pseuds/johnwhatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jimmy 'Castiel' Novak has a big secret and Dean Winchester wants to know it. Castiel finally caves and tells Dean the truth- but with what consequences?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Caution: some parts my trigger.
> 
> Castiels "family" is every angel Eric Kripke created living under one roof. Other unnamed angels have fallen, thus not living there any more.
> 
> This work is unfinished and probably won't be finished any time soon. The best of this work is yet to come. The story is yet to unravel.

He was the talk of the school, but nobody had even seen him. The rumors of a new pupil were apparently stemmed by a Sophomore claiming they'd seen someone who wasn't enrolled, and was confused as to why they were here, yet some people claim to have seen a limousine pull up, "like the presidents car" they said, others claim he didn't come through the gates and was just here. But nobody knew how he actually got in, nobody knew who he actually was, and if he was even actually a he.

Mr Crowley sat at his desk reviewing Jimmy's file. He was 'quiet, shy, intelligent, kind hearted and witty' according to his previous principal. He buzzed his Secretary and asked her to send him in. 

"Yes sir?"  
"Sit, Jimmy"

He sat. He looked quite anxious. His wide yet tired eyes were darting around, he was twining his thumbs, and he kept swallowing and coughing.

"This file praises you, yet you were expelled?"  
"I um yeah I um I can't tell you it's a secret" Jimmy smirked; raised his eyebrows and nodded towards the door- already getting ready to leave.

Mr Crowley sighed, huffed, puffed, and tutted. He excused him and proceeded to find his previous schools contact details.

He put the phone down, he screamed in anger. They wouldn't tell him either. He paced up and down, wondering what this amazing secret could be. Was he part of a cult? No he'd have seen some sort of tattoo design or carvings in his arms...was it a family thing? Orphan? Adoption? Killed his parents? No don't be silly. Mr Crowley couldn't think of any possibilities, so he got his prefect to follow him. 

"Dean Winchester needs to come see me in my office, send him up please."

A light knock on the office door meant the arrival of Dean. Dean wasn't sure whether to walk in and sit, wait by the door, slide open the glass panel, or sit on the waiting benches. Mr Crowley was a violent and quite sadistic man, he had a nice side but that came out about once or twice a decade maybe, and Dean was scared of him. Dean tried to always do everything Mr Crowley asked just in case- the teacher called him in and explained his task. Dean wasn't so sure. 

"You're asking me to stalk the new kid because he wouldn't tell you why his school kicked him out? Have you tried calli---"  
"YES. Now do it! Or I'll revoke your prefect status forever."  
"Jeez louise fine."  
"Attitude Winchester, remember who you're speaking to! Besides, you might like him" the teacher with the weathered face tried to force a smile and instead grimaced, his face seemed to shatter like a porcelain doll's.  
"What?" Dean looked scared and angry, he hated his guts but was always too scared to speak up. And whenever he brought up the rumors that had circulated since middle school Dean was scared he'd get beaten with a cane or something, just for what he was. Mr Crowley smiled viciously and pointed at the door. "Go now, Winchester. I've given you your orders."

And with that Dean left. It wasn't hard to find Jimmy: he was a senior so he'd have a study period in the library. Dean went there first.

"HEY FAG, WHERE'S MY HOMEWORK?" 

Jimmy heard and looked up, it was instinct to acknowledge shouted abuse, it always used to be him they were shouting at, whether it was "fag", "pussy" or just random profanity, he was always the recipient. Instead he saw a beefy looking jock staring down at a handsome fellow.

The jock was chunky, but he daren't say fat, he had typical hair- brown, short but long enough to comb. The handsome fellow however was slightly tanned, he had big cute eyes and was slim. He was wearing dark jeans and a white tee, his hair was longer than the jocks but still above his ears, brown and shiny, the guy was gorgeous- and he looked vulnerable yet reckless.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Your locker, Phil." He was barely through the doors and he'd already been insulted. "This is why I don't stay on campus" he said under his breath.

"Hi, Jimmy I presume? I'm the prefect, I'll be showing you around, helping you make friends, all that bullshit" Dean used his dry charm and Jimmy reciprocated. They got chatting and Dean realized that befriending him would be less obvious than just stalking. And, as it turned out, they were in all the same classes, so it wouldn't be hard. They made empty small talk to fill the awkward silence for a while, with Jimmy reading his text books in between. Dean tried seeing what he was reading, but Jimmy never let him.

Jimmy turned the page and a note fell onto his lap.  
'Whoever you are pass it on, Dean Winchester is a no good queer'. Jimmy was shocked, but he didn't show it, he pretended nothing had happened and carried on reading his book.

The bell went, which signified the end of study period. Dean and Jimmy walked together to class; Chemistry. Their arms brushed together a few times while they walked. Jimmy felt shivers up his spine every time. This was the first time people had seen Jimmy all day, he heard whispers from all corners of the school. He couldn't help but laugh- but felt paranoid all the same. Dean came back with their equipment and set up for the experiment they were given. 

"Dean that's too much" "Dean stop!"  
"Dean stop!" He mimicked, and laughed. "Relax, I know what I'm doing."  
"Are you trying to fucking kill us?" Jimmy had an alarmed yet irresistible look on him.  
"I said I know what I'm doing! Chill out man, I'm a prefect" Dean chuckled, he was beginning to actually like the guy.

There was silence, for a long time, but concentration seldom filled the emptiness. Jimmy kept tutting and sighing because of the poor effort in their task, Dean spilled a little solution and let out a small groan. "Here, let me help" he grabbed the equipment from Dean's hand, steadying it while they did the experiment. His hand lingered slightly too long, Dean blushed slightly and coughed. Dean finished what he was doing and proceeded to write the results in his exercise book. Jimmy packed the equipment away. Another lifetime passed before they spoke again.

"So what's your favorite movie huh?" Dean smiled coyly but Jimmy just rolled his eyes.  
"Really? I pull a stunt like that and all you can say is what's your favorite movie?"  
There was an awkward pause.  
"Pulled a stunt?" Dean spoke quieter than before, his face was crumpled- as if puzzled, it was a cute look.  
Jimmy didn't want his voice to be as raised and angry but it happened anyway, "Well I may not have been here long but it seems your sexuality is no secret!"  
"Ok quiet down man fucking hell, not everybody's heard yet". 

They stared at each other for quite some time, the tension lingered as long as Jimmy's hand had. Jimmy's gaze pulled away first, he took Dean's book to copy the results from and kept quiet the rest of the lesson.

The boys were walking to class the next day when Dean grabbed Jimmy's arm lightly, softly tugging it indicating Jimmy to face him.

"Ouch..."  
"So what is your favorite movie?"  
Jimmy creased his eyebrows in confusion.  
"Yesterday I asked your favorite movie and you never answered."  
"Oh, I haven't seen any."

Dean asked why he hasn't and how that was possible but Jimmy couldn't tell him, he just made up some bullshit excuse like he's poor and can't afford to go see movies, and he can't afford cable either. He spun Dean along the whole day, in fact he kept the story going for a whole year.

Within this year they'd gotten quite close, which meant they both knew quite a lot about each other.  
Well, Jimmy knew a lot about Dean anyway.

Well, Jimmy thought he knew a lot about Dean anyway.

It's the last day of school before summer; the boys went to the diner afterwards to celebrate. They shared fries and spent the rest of the day talking into their coffee's. At around five Jimmy went to the toilets, his cell rang and Dean answered. 

"Hey Cas?"  
"Um, no, Jimmy's friend Dean..."  
"Dean...Winchester by any chance? John's kid?"  
"Yeah... I... How the fuck did you know that? Who is this?"  
"A friend of Castiel's, can I speak to him?"  
"WHO THE FUCK IS CASTIEL?" Dean screamed down the phone, the whole diner stared at him so he glared back at them. It wasn't that full so he only had a few unlucky bachelors and spinsters to stare down.

There was silence on the other end of the line, so he hung up. He was frustrated, confused, angry, fed up and hungry. The same crumpled expression creeped up on him but this time it wasn't cute. At this point Jimmy walked back up to the booth and sat down. He sensed the tension and raised his eyebrows. He eyed the moved cell and said to himself quietly, "shit it's friday". He looked at Dean, he knew what he was soon to ask but he didn't want to answer so he picked up his belongings and rushed out the diner back home.

Jimmy had 20 missed calls off of Dean, and had no intention of calling back. He had all summer to avoid the confrontation, and he had the same amount of time to come up with his script for when he's asked when school starts again.


	2. Chapter 2

"You have one new message: "hi, it's Dean. Listen, we really need to talk ok. Stop screening my calls. Please. We're gonna have to eventually so we may as well just get it over and done with. Please. Call me back Jimmy."" It was three days before school started again. He'd had similar messages to this hundreds of times throughout summer, and he hadn't responded to any. Dean had threatened to come to his house, yet he had no idea where Jimmy lived so Jimmy just laughed at the threat. He knew come Monday he'd have to talk to Dean, but Jimmy hated confrontation, he hated having to talk about things, he hated having to talk to Dean about things, he knew this and he hadn't even told him anything yet. Why should Dean be any different?

"Jimmy?" Dean shouted for the tenth time, Jimmy still ignoring him. "Jimmy this is far beyond a joke now" Jimmy laughed and carried on walking. Dean was starting to speed up now, he caught up, "FINE! Castiel, Jimmy, Fucking Matilda I don't care just answer me!" He grabbed Jimmy's wrist.  
"Why did you just call me Castiel?"  
"Well that's you're name isn't it? Why else would that idiot call you it?" Jimmy was silent. "And another thing, how the fuck did she know my name?" Jimmy still didn't reply. Instead he also sped up, turning into the toilets and locking the cubicle door.

Dean gave up and retired to the library,   
"Castiel Novak...come on Google" Dean didn't know what to expect, family scandal, house burnt down, murder, ghost haunting he didn't know but what ever it was Google had to know. The suspense was shitting him, why did the school have to have such a slow connection? 

Jimmy rolled up his blazer sleeves, he was hot. He felt sick and he had no place to go but another cubicle, what was the point? His face crumpled up like before and he felt himself starting to cry. Jimmy rolled the sleeves back down again and walked out, "study period." He whispered to himself. He knew not to go to the library, Dean would be waiting. He knew. 

Instead he went off campus. How would they know he was gone? He was off time table for two hours, he could go shopping without anyone knowing. Not that he would though, shopping was for girls and faggots. He wasn't a faggot. He wasn't. No matter what people said.

He wasn't...

He....

Jimmy went to the backfields, to concentrate on absolutely nothing while staring eagerly into the sun. He got there and there were a group of boys running around, playing soccer. Just his luck. He wanted to be alone, and I guess he could still be alone there, but he didn't want to. Jimmy was running out of places to go. He sat down anyway and tried staring at the sky, but the soccer players distracted him. He eventually managed to block them out of his mind but then a new player arrived, it was the jock he'd seen before- Phil; Jimmy remembered Dean calling him Phil.

"Hey what you looking at daisy-guess-what-rhymes-with-daggot?" Jimmy hadn't realized he'd been staring, it was daydreaming but unfortunately he appeared to be staring at the big shot jock. "I said, what are you looking at pussy!"  
"I was looking into my own head filled with conscious dreams but if you want to flatter yourself with delusional attention then go right ahead." Jimmy had no idea where this sudden sarcasm had come from, usually he'd just leave before it got violent.   
"Oh a wise guy" Phil punched him in the stomach. "If you're so wise why didn't you see that coming hm?"  
"Oh I expected it, although I was thinking more like a punch not a motherfucking tap, honey dearest you barely touched my clothes never mind me" Jimmy had no idea where any of this was coming from but he loved it! "Phil, that's your name right? Love you lots baby boo" Jimmy kissed the jock then kneed him in the balls, then walked away, head held high. He heard shouts of "Pansy" and "Faggot" and "I'll fucking get you for this!" But he didn't care, he felt mighty, he felt like he'd just accomplished everything in life he needed to.

On his walk back to campus he bumped into someone, he was tall, slim, good looking and he had the face of an Angel.  
"Sorry"  
"It's ok" the guy said. "You're the new kid aint you?" Jimmy nodded. "M'name's Balthazar." They shook hands and walked back to school together. "so I heard you're a fag"  
Jimmy started to walk away, not giving him the satisfaction of an answer. He didn't like what he was hearing and he'd used up his confrontational attitude back on the fields.  
"I know people from Holy Father, you're queer right? That's why they kicked you out?" Balthazar seemed pretty sure of himself. He tried smiling but Jimmy knew it wasn't genuine. He doubted Balthazar was his real name anyway, I mean what sort of mother names their son Balthazar? Jimmy didn't answer, but upped his pace. He'd made the mistake of hinting to Dean before, he certainly didn't want to tell Balthazar the truth. He trusted Dean for some reason, he had this essence. Balthazar just seemed downright nosy.

Balthazar apologized and Jimmy let him walk with him. Dean was waiting at the gates.  
"I saw you leave" Dean looked dead in the eyes. "And I saw what you did back there, it was impressive."  
Jimmy gave him a polite smile then walked by with Balthazar. Bal kept looking behind, and Dean stared right back. Jimmy had his confused face on again. The face Dean gave him.  
"We had a thing" Bal said solemnly when he turned back around.

It's the last lesson of the day and Dean was sat next to Jimmy. The awkward tension similar to the one from Jimmy's first day was suffocating them. Dean kept trying to talk to Jimmy but he just wouldn't let him. Dean tried asking if the internet was right. Dean tried asking why he had two names. Dean tried to ask everything but it came back as hopeless as the google search.

The internet had given Dean a list of things related to the search terms "Castiel" and "Novak". One of them was "Family accused of being inhuman escape clutches of community". Dean didn't think this was the right article. "Family of 18 brothers suspicious in city" well this could be anyone. "School's top student kicked to the curb after investigation into his family" this seemed familiar, Jimmy had been expelled, and it was also very similar to the last two results... He'd clicked on the link and read the article, but no names were given due to legal reasons. Dean had come up with virtually nothing. He'd even tried searching 'Jimmy Novak' but nothing came up. This is when he gave up and just looked out to the sky, this is when he saw Jimmy leaving the gates and this is when he went and stood; waiting.

Jimmy was greeted by two of his brothers, Gabriel and Michael. The others were in the kitchen with Anna and Naomi. Gabriel and Michael were on their way out, to find someone important, but Jimmy was summoned to the kitchen for a chat.

"Cas honey we saw you earlier." Jimmy did the confused look he'd seen Dean do a thousand times. "With Balthazar? Listen, he's technically brother Cas, we ex communicated him when you were a baby because his father married someone bad." Jimmy's face got even more crumpled, "Balthazar is a half breed, and he's bad news. His whole blood family were sent away because they were evil. Balthazar will taint your mind." Jimmy shrugged and began to walk away. "Did you not see him go towards the fields then walk back with you? Did you not see that? Didn't you think? And he knows people from your old school? 1000 miles away? You were an idiot, and now he's i---"  
"Ok! I get it!" Jimmy rolled his eyes and grabbed an apple.

Jimmy skulked away to his room. Lucifer was there, reading a comic. "Luc get out my room, you know you share with Mike."  
Lucifer laughed. "and get the fuck off my comics!"  
"dude". He nodded towards the desk chair, stood up, and walked out the room. It was Dean.

"You sure have a big family."  
"They're not all blood, my... mother...she adopted loads of people, I guess we were instead of cats."   
"Jimmy some of them are like 30, how old is your mother exactly?" He shrugged his shoulders.   
"To be frank I have no idea. she died when I'd just joined the family, my dad reckons it was too much for her to see the 'prettiest' face of the group, but..." Jimmy stopped talking, he was about to reveal something way too private. So Dean took up the talk time.  
"Last year you told me you were poor."  
"Yeah well last year you told me you'd help me make friends."

Jimmy wished his family wouldn't call him Cas while visitors were around. Dean had heard the downstairs conversation and attempted to ask about it. All Jimmy kept doing was shrugging. Dean ate dinner with the group and stayed until late. "You know Lucifer, and this is Michael, Gabriel, Zach, Anna, Uriel, Raphael, Samandriel, Naomi and Metatron..."  
He and the brothers were all chatting along like best friends, but Jimmy was nowhere to be seen.

"Forgive me father but this is a must, can you help me replace my sins for a handful of lust? I heal like a liquid but not after this, however it could all stop after one single kiss" Jimmy whispered to an invisible source while tearing into his skin. He bled more than an average person, yet he didn't feel weak from the loss. "O mortal enemies that made me sin, o misery be hidden to the next of kin." He cried. "O Everything was perfect and I failed to scar, yet here I am, you know who you are" he carried on his whispering. "O fatal flesh and human skin, with tainted blood which was oh so thin" Jimmy was crying harder with every verse, he picked up the sharp blade again and added to the deep cuts he'd made every night for a year. The blood evaporated as soon as it hit the floor, and his tears too. This wasn't normal. It was...it was almost as if an evil entity had stepped into the house and heated the surface he walked on to the temperature of Hell.

Jimmy cleaned up and went downstairs, where everyone cheered and welcomed his return. He donned bright eyes and a shiny smile. "What you smiling about? did you tug a few or something?" Gabriel and Michael were sat down with the others. Jimmy rolled his eyes;  
"Ha how funny". Jimmy asked how long they'd been back and the answer was 'not long'. "We just let someone out, a quick visitor, the one we went to find earlier." Then everyone stared at Jimmy, disappointed. "It was your friend Balthazar"  
"But Balthazar's an a---" Jimmy stopped himself- he spotted Dean was still here.  
"I already explained this" Zachariah said bluntly. Jimmy nodded and sat to listen to what Bal had said.


	3. Chapter 3

"Cas!" Jimmy turned around, "Cas hi can we talk?"  
"I told you not to fucking call me that already" Jimmy was in a foul mood, his course work had been given shit grades, he'd been pushed into lockers, punched and everything in between.  
"I'm sorry but I think its cute, its nicer on the tongue than Jimmy" Dean smiled, his eyes were squint from the blinding sunlight and he had the whole Bed-head Casual Clothes Hands In Pockets look going on today. "You know what else is nicer on the tongue?" Dean winked. He was slapped playfully. Dean leaned in for a kiss but Jimmy bit him instead. "Oh so that's how it's gonna go is it?" Dean grinned and spanked Jimmy's ass, he winked again and walked away, sauntering into the communal toilets for a leak.

"I hope you're gonna wipe that when you're done." Jimmy had followed him in.  
"And why would that be hm?" Jimmy made patterns with his fingers on Dean's back while he peed.  
"Because I don't much like the taste of piss." This time Jimmy spanked Dean and turned him around to face him. "Disabled cubicle, pronto" and pushed him in. You see Dean had been teaching Jimmy to come out of his shell more, and Jimmy came out his closet too. Dean followed on and made his love for Jimmy crystal clear to everybody. Despite the bullying they carried on the show, and secret kisses quickly formed into cringe worthy public affection. Dean had taught Jimmy to be open, and not to be afraid of people. To stand up for himself and to feel free instead of caged in a prison of victimization.

"Let me make this clear to you buddy. We're skipping class, we're staying in here as long as we can last and you're going to fuck the living shit out me. Ok?" Cas said this sternly, and unzipped Dean as he did so. "Now I'm going to get you started and you're going to stand back and like it."  
"Baby I don't think you'll need to..." he was right, his dick was throbbing for Jimmy already.

"I'll fuck you on one condition- I can call you Cas." Jimmy hesitated, but he nodded and sucked on Dean like a popsicle. Dean waited a while then pushed Cas away. He wanted Cas at the same stage as him. He teased Cas for a while, licking the tender skin around the head, kissing the half-hard member like a gentleman would a hand. He grabbed hold of the dick and pulled it until it was rock solid, then he began to suck. He could sense that Cas was at the right stage by the muscle spasms. Dean jacked himself a little to get back to where Cas had left him then creeped up to kiss his sweet lips.

"Fuck me" he moaned.  
Dean turned him face-to-wall, and teased his rim with the head. Cas started to spread his legs further, knowing that Dean was ready to go. He moaned as Dean entered him, and Dean could see the boy's hands grasping for something other than the smooth wall to hold onto. Dean was slow and steady, he wanted them to last. He took one hand off Cas' ass and stroked Cas' neck instead. Cas moaned again. "Why didn't you do this last time?" He groaned softly.

Dean replied with, "Because you weren't ready baby". He sped up a little, then gradually got faster and faster until he was fucking the brains out of his boy. Cas' moans got louder, and Dean had to shut him up with his hand. This turned him on even more. Cas started to spasm again and Dean knew he was about to break. "Baby don't come until I come ok?" Dean whispered. He got as fast as he could go and felt himself spasm too, "I'm nearly there baby, nearly there." They both groaned. "Ok baby you can come, go for it baby, go for it". Dean digged his nails into Cas' body and started to come, they both moaned loudly and they both orgasmed pretty much in unison.

"I'm not done! I'm not done!" Cas gasped as Dean began to pull out,  
"But baby it's your turn" he insisted. They swapped positions and Cas began teasing Dean in the same fashion. "Don't mess baby you know I'm there". Cas listened and entered.  
"You're tight" he moaned. "Not for long though" he added. Cas maneuvered himself well. He knew he'd found the spot when Dean collapsed into the wall. He fucked hard and fast- no mercy. He jacked Dean while he fucked him and bit him in places too. The lovers were secretly quite kinky and Cas knew just where on Dean's body he could bite to send him spiraling out of control. 

They were both close and once again they came at once, the wall was sticky with two DNA extracts and they didn't feel the need to clean it up. They laid on the cubicle floor, spooning. It took a while to get their breaths back and when they did Cas had something to say. "Didn't you say you wanted to talk to me?" He asked.  
"You son of a bitch you distracted me on purpose!" Dean laughed.  
"No I think you'll find you started it!" Cas retorted with a smile.

It was approaching the end of school and the boys knew they'd spent all they had. They came out the toilets early so they didn't get caught by anyone and just loitered around the corridors until the bell went. Cas wanted to leave and have time to get a bite to eat before the bus came but Dean reminded him about their stuff still being in their lockers. Cas looked dissapointed. Dean remembered the deal and mentioned it to Cas, the reply was a groan and an 'oh shit'. Now he had no say in the matter, Dean could call him by his proper name with no hassle at all. He knew to call him Jimmy in crowded area's though- he wasn't stupid.

The bell went and they got their bags out the lockers. Dean took Cas by the hand and just grinned at any loser who gave them a dirty stare. 'We may be homos' Dean thought, 'but at least we can get some!' He laughed to himself.

Cas got home and opened his bedside draw, it was empty apart from a few loose photographs and notes. He grinned every time he opened it as it reminded him how strong he was, he replaced the empty space with some polaroids they'd taken the last month on a field trip. Dean wanted to use his digital camera but Cas insisted on polaroids because 'they looked cooler'. He'd had them hidden at the back of his locker, untouched since they got back from the trip. He didn't want to take them out just in case he was ambushed on the way home and the photo's were ruined. But they weren't, and it was because he was with Dean: Dean would protect him like the knight in shining armour he was. It was strange, but the sex in the toilets gave Cas a glimmer of new hope for his future, he was brave enough to fuck in the communals so he was brave enough to stand up to bastards.

"You fucked him properly yet bro?" Michael joked at the dinner table. The answer was unexpected but everyone at the table cheered.  
"About time!" They were shouting all sorts of cheers at him. They knew about the last time because it was in the house and it was the shambles. Cas was a virgin and was tight like the Lord Jesus, Dean was out of practice seeing as his last lover was Balthazar and he was somewhat chastised for someone "worthy." (Biggest pile of bullshit Dean had ever heard if he's honest). The boys weren't legal but Cas' family didn't mind one bit, this was the first time they'd seen him truly happy in a long time. They didn't let on but they sometime's saw the beatings he'd get, and they'd know he was trying to fool them- but now he wasn't, he was properly happy and they loved it- they loved Dean for what he'd done; bringing Cas out his shell and that business.


	4. Chapter 4

It was yet another study period, but Jimmy and Dean had been a little distracted these past few months. It was 8 months since Dean visited Jimmy's house, 5 months since they fucked, and 3 months since Jimmy finally caved and told Dean everything. Well, almost everything.

"Right no distractions baby, tell me your life. Why you've got 2 names and why the headlines hate you." Dean was big spoon watching movies with Cas, he loved it because Cas was shocked at it all- with him never seeing a film the first movies they watched had to be the LOTR series- how could it not? The final second of the final movie had finished and Dean needed to talk. Dean had needed to talk for like, 2 years.  
"I'm not human you know." Cas sighed. "I'm an angel."  
"You're an angel are you? You sure you're not a devil you little minx?" Dean tickled Cas and they laughed together a little.  
"No, no I'm an angel. Castiel is my name, but my vessel's name is Jimmy Novak. My family- they're not related. We're all angels. That's why we all have weird names.  
"Michael?"  
"Oh he got a name but he hates it so"  
"What was it?"  
"Azezilla. He hated it because it was too similar to Azazel- Azazel is like not good at all you get me?"  
"Mhm". 

Cas gave the basics on everything, but left out a lot, like why they move so often, why there's half as many angels living with them as they started with, why Cas' arms are covered all the time and why the cuts didn't just heal like they should. Those stories were for another day, maybe in 200 years time at Deans grave, one new story per anniversary maybe?

Dean didn't know what to do, keep it to himself and keep Cas' trust, thus letting him carry on fucking him- or tell Mr Crowley and lose everything. He wanted to keep it to himself, but he knew that if Mr Crowley found out he was keeping it from him he'd go berserk. Dean was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"Is that why you were expelled?" Dean asked- getting the final answer once and for all. He needed to know- whether he told Mr Crowley or not he still needed to know.  
"No I went to a holy school- they loved it- it was being a fag that got me kicked out." Cas' tone changed after 'they loved it', as if he was reliving the moment or something. Dean noticed and tried comforting him.  
"Well it's all ok now yeah?" Dean hugged Cas tighter than he ever had, he felt Cas nod into his chest. Cas' hair smelt nice.

Cas was undressing for bed, he eyed his scars and his stomach dropped. He wrapped up tight in his covers and fell unconscious. His dreams were explicit and saddening, like always. They were mostly little snippets of memories; like his brothers being forced to leave and being bullied. 

Cas woke with a start when someone knocked loudly on his window. It was Dean. Cas opened the window and ran to the closet to get a jacket. Dean grabbed him before he could.  
"What the fuck is this?" Cas yanked his arm away and grabbed the first jacket he saw. 

He was dressed in nothing but underwear and an oversized woolen jacket. His eyes glistened in the moonlight. Dean was wearing the usual; his hair looking like he'd the one who'd been woken up. "Don't ignore me Cas!" He threatened. Dean noticed the malicious tone in his voice and changed it, "Please baby" he whispered. 

He grabbed Cas and pulled him towards his chest. "Cas baby it's ok" he whispered. Stroking Castiel. In the darkness he hadn't seen Cas cry but his sodden face showed he did. Dean didn't cry; ever- but he was close to it that night.

They stayed up all hours- Castiel blubbering every word into Deans body and Dean 'sh'ing him sympathetically. Cas' scars were old- Dean knew that- but Dean felt sick to the bone when he saw them. They were silvery-white and a little shiny. They looked like they'd been seriously deep and they lived on every piece of skin available. You could tell some had been reopened at a later date and you could tell that they hadn't been nursed well. Dean wondered if Cas had ever thought about suicide- but he was scared of the answer so he didn't ask.

Dean couldn't concentrate on anything he was supposed to be doing; in fact he'd forgotten what to do- so he was just sat there...trying not to cry at the memories from the night before.


	5. Chapter 5

Another semester over; study leave had began. "'Study'" Dean laughed. "Who fucking studies on break" he added. He was packing his things ready to escape out of suburbia for the fortnight. He was going to NY with his brother, it wasn't the greatest vacation location going but it was apt. Dean packed all his precious items; Camera, Cell, iPod, Porn magazines, and of course his favorite white shirt. Exactly the same as the others except this one was the one he wore when he met Cas. At least he thought it was. He packed all his shirts anyway, just in case he was wrong.

~i am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does~ Cas had his iPod on listening to music, he had to cope a whole fortnight without Dean. ~and you go and you stand on your own~ How would he even function? He'd become overly dependent on Dean's love. ~and you leave on your own~ He knew he wouldn't feel happy until he saw Deans face again. ~and you go home~ How Cas wished he could be with him now ~and you cry and you want to die~ Cas realised what he was listening to and threw his iPod across his room. 

How Soon Is Now reminded Cas of what he was. How Soon Is Now reminded Cas that Dean was gone. How Soon Is Now reminded Cas that Dean could easily just get over him and find someone hotter, better in bed, stable and fucking human. Cas had always been the weird kid, then he became the suspected "inhuman teen", then he became the faggot. Cas would never be normal. He knew Dean could do better but he'd managed to forget about it- until How Soon Is Now played.

Dean felt uneasy. He had to be with his brother for two weeks. The brother who tried to forget about the homo he was related to. Dean was away from his 'baby' Castiel for two weeks. The one person who made him happy; and the one person who needed him the most. Two motherfucking weeks.

"Ugh Dean did you have to?" Dean had thrown up out the car window. He figured his un-ease was travel sickness mixed with heart ache. Sam was behind the wheel illegally but was driving too careful to be pulled over. Dean wiped his mouth and leaned back in. He apologized and offered to take the wheel at the next lay by. In an attempt to settle his stomach he drank some Coke- it just made it worse. When they got to the lay by Dean went to the bushes and puked further- leaving sam to awkwardly stand as other stoppers stared and drivers drifted their eyes from the road ahead. 

Dean had a license but he was an absolute shit driver. He never went over the limit though so he wouldn't get pulled over either. The brothers were basically immune to any form of traffic violation just because they knew how to get around them. Not long after Dean took the wheel Sam fell asleep- he looked at the clock: 9:58pm. "Fucking summer" he muttered. He pulled into the next lay by and slept too- they had a long drive the next day.

Michael called Cas downstairs for an emergency 'tip off'. They got to the kitchen and saw everyone looking as if someone died. Sam Winchester had followed Dean from school to the Novak house last week and had nosed out the front. That was it. But Deans younger brother was apparently a massive threat to the family. He'd apparently been to the principal earlier that day, and they think he's investigating. Cas called Dean, he had nowhere else to turn.   
"Hello?" Dean slurred, still half asleep. He listened to what Cas had to say and sat bolt right. "What?"  
Something clicked in Dean's brain: had Mr Crowley given up on Dean and got Sam to take his place on the task?...that was a large possibility. Especially due to the internet history on Dean and Sam's shared school account. Shit. He tuned in again to hear Cas recapping what he'd said "No baby I heard you I'm just shocked." He looked over to his brother and sighed. "I'm sure he was just curious, I never really leave the house so when I start spending an excessive amount of time in another house, you know what he'd be like." Dean didn't know whether it was a lie or not, but he wanted to believe it.

"He says Sam was probably just curious to where Dean had been recently" Cas covered the phone as he spoke.  
"What about him going to the principal though?" Michael asked. Cas repeated this to Dean and Dean laughed.  
"Baby we're Winchesters, when are we not in the principals office", Dean hoped Cas would believe the innocent story because Dean sure didn't.  
...To Be Continued...  
//unfinished//

**Author's Note:**

> I DIDNT WRITE THIS MY FRIEND DID I AM NOT A BAD WRITER


End file.
